let that be enough

Sometimes (ok, usually), songs can say it so much better than I. Excuse the melancholy on such a joyous day. I'm just tired of some things and not sure how or if I can change them. Or, ironically, if I want to. Things are a muddle, and I need clarity. Which is also ironic, because I'm pretty sure I wrote the other day just how clear things seemed these days. Funny that. Welcome to my life. So. This is my song tonight. Happy Easter, dear ones. I hope it was a joyful and restful day for all of you.

'Let That Be Enough'

Switchfoot

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy 

And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could now
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

Blessed Ramblings

If the weather could stay like this until, say, June.. that'd be great. Seriously.

I feel like I'm coming out from a fog.. it's nice to feel alive and clear-headed again. I am blessed in so many ways, and I'm trying not to take any of it for granted.

Work-spring-break was this week. It's been a lovely week of quasi-productivity, rest, picnics, lunches, and lovely strolls around the neighborhood. Well, at least for the second half of the week. We won't mention the Great Flood of Tuesday. Not that I don't love the rain, because I do. I just love them more when I can sit inside and read and drink tea. 

Well, off to wrap up this week and cap it off with Easter. I hope you all have a blessed weekend!

Return to Blogger..

Ahh, good ol' Blogger.. it's been awhile. Like four years, according to these old posts.. and most of them are even older! But xanga is going ad crazy, and I've had trouble with comment hackers, so let's try this, shall we? (and hello, facebookers.. I'd hate to leave you out of the loop, so you get the imported version)

Other than not getting my homework done yet, I've had a nice productive evening. I made progress putting Christmas back in boxes (don't judge me, I've been busy!!), cleaned the kitchen, grabbed groceries from CM (using my wonderful market basket.. look at me being all eco-friendly), made dinner, packed lunch and breakfast for tomorrow, put my fresh flowers that I bought myself (blue hydrangeas.. I heart hydrangeas..),  and put gas in my poor, thirsty Jeep. Yes, I know I haven't finished reading for class tomorrow... but it's not midnight yet, so I still have some time. I do, however, need to pause in order to turn the heat on in the apartment, as it has now dropped to approximately -45 degrees in here... *dramatic pause*  Ok, that's better.  It's funny to me how cold it feels right now, when I can be perfectly comfortable with 30 and rainy (or colder) when I'm in PA or England or somewhere else cold.. I guess it's a mindset. And maybe warmer clothes.

I'm definitely better today than I have been the past few days. Sorry to those of you who had to put up with me.. I'm not sure what brought on that funk, but I seem to be pulling out of it and moving on with life. I hate sounding whiney.. so.. moving on.

I heart jazz. We have two, maybe three concerts this semester... and I'm starting solo transcriptions in my private lessons.. and yay. Should be good. Now if I can just pass my exits and get this thesis written... speaking of, I should get back to my reading. G'night world..

So btw...  I'm working on getting all of xanga and fi.selcouth.com posts moved here.. if only to have my life story in one place so I can remember what life was like two years ago..

So this won't be much for a while.. 

A British Thanksgiving: Days 3-5

Day 3 (Wednesday 21 Nov)
We went in to London today, Lisa and I. We went and had a light lunch and tea at the Orangery at Kensington Palace, and then spent the afternoon walking through the exhibits and the un-inhabited sections of the palace. SO cool! After, we walked down to Brompton to see Holy Trinity Brompton (home of Alpha and Tim Hughes!), and then over to Harrod's to drool, pick up a few gifts, and of course, some chocolate to eat at the theatre. Of course it started raining at that point, so we ducked into a coffee shop for a sandwich for dinner before we walked swam over to the Queen's Theatre to see Les Miserables. Such a great show! I had not seen it before, though I was familiar with a few of the songs. It was so good! It was a late night, but overall a very nice day.

Day 4 (Thursday 22 Nov; US Thanksgiving)
I slept in today, which was SO nice and very needed. Spent the afternoon market shopping and cooking dinner. Lisa and I have decided to take over Christmas dinner back in Texas.. we make a good team!

Day 5 (Friday 23 Nov)
I wandered London today... literally. I had no set agenda, I just walked. Shopped a bit in Covent Garden, and walked past Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and Cathedral, and a few other spots. It was really a nice day. Now we're putting up the Christmas tree and watching Wizard of Oz with Catherine. I'll pack shortly, and then get a quick drink at the pub with Darryl (I haven't been to a pub yet!) before going to bed early, since I have to get up and catch a train around 0615.

It's been such a quick trip, but I'm glad I was able to come. See you all when I get back!

A British Thanksgiving: Days 1 & 2

Day 1 (Monday 19 Nov)
After an insanely long flight (made longer by the people in my row who kept switching seats, standing in the aisle talking all night, or falling asleep with their elbows in my seat), I finally arrived and flew through customs (seriously, from plane to arrivals in like 20 minutes!). Lisa picked me up and we made the drive back to Stortford in the rain. Dropped off my stuff, and went back out to hit up the newly remodeled/relocated Sainsbury's to stock up on groceries for the week. Had tea and biscuits. Picked up Cat from school. Blah blah. Sat around, read a book, had dinner (fresh chicken and dumplings.. YUM!), and watched some late night tv with Lisa accompanied by Mint Bailey's on ice and chocolate covered tea biscuits. Lovely!

Day 2 (Tuesday 20 Nov)
Slept in a bit before getting back in the car to head to St. Alban's to see the cathedral of this diocese. Got to attend a noon communion before walking around a bit and having lunch in their cafe. Walked around some pond, saw a lot of birds (which flocked on Darryl... funniest thing ever.. I'll have to put up a picture..), and what claims to be the oldest pub in England. We didn't have time for a pint however, as we had to get back to pick up Cat. Sat around some more. Planned our trip for tomorrow. Made pizzas for dinner with munchkin child so L & D could go out for their 14th anniversary. Watched tv with tea and aforementioned chocolate biscuits. Currently can't sleep..

I know it sounds so boring.. but it's been pretty restful.. and since I arrived feeling rather sick-ish, that has been nice. Tomorrow is 'Girls Day Out' in London... shopping, tea at Kensington Palace, and catching Les Mis at the Queen's Theatre.... should be a good day.

Cheers y'all. Miss everyone.

At the End of the Day...

Well, another month has gone by. And a crazy month it has been. No joke.

Add to that the fact that November comes on Thursday.. with Thanksgiving and Christmas and REST on its heels. I think November-January will always be my favorite time of year.. bring on the parties and family visits and hot cider and ice skating and CHRISTMAS MUSIC and Midnight Mass and cold air and Christmas baking (and chocolate pound cake batter...) and lots of sleep and rest and time to reflect. Yes, it is a most wonderful time of the year.. not to be punny or anything..

To be honest, September and October were largely one large blur. I feel like I've been pushing just to get by and make it to the next day, only to get there just in time to start the next one.. vicious cycle. This weekend was really the first downtime I've had in a very long time. It was blissful, really... Friday was Lainey's birthday party, which was the most I've laughed in quite some time.. the rest of the weekend was made up of quiet walks on the Katy Trail, with me and my iPod.. catching up on reading, studio projects, research, cleaning, laundry..

And today, I held a beautiful, sleeping baby for close to an hour... and I perhaps realized why I'm fighting to find motivation to finish school.

I'm trying to psyche myself up for another week. It should be a good one, if a tad busy.. but busy is good, as it keeps me from over-analyzing my life.. which I'm sure you are all grateful for, ha. I leave for England three weeks from today. That is both super exciting and super scary.. I have SO much to get accomplished between now and then... but I just have to make it to the plane, and then it will be 6 days of blissful England... ah, how I long for tea and biscuits, train rides, old music stores, walks to the pub, listening to the bells of St. Michael's.... sigh, can I leave now?

Well, sleep calls yet once more. Take care dear ones.